This post is a continuation from Part I.
Fear is a huge player in the discipline of parkour; There are dangers and risks, and everyone has the natural tendency to avoid physical harm. In the last section, I announced that I have always felt afraid doing the things I do and I outlined several strategies I use to mitigate the effect of that fear. Part II is not an outline of a problem, nor is it a guide as to how never to feel afraid. Instead, I want to pose a few questions and point out a couple factors that occur in American society that I feel have a great deal of influence in the psyche of our generation.
The biggest question I’m going to ask is, Why? I can no longer sit back and be content with the way society decides to manage itself or behave. Specifically for this topic, why is physical harm so intensely demonized at a young age?
The root of the problem is difficult to understand for some, mainly because there is no right or wrong answer; just choices and the effect of those choices. To develop this further, I give myself as an example:
I am by no means a scarless child. I’ve had my bumps and bruises, tears, rips, cuts, and scrapes. I’ve never broken a bone to this day. The most definitive thing I remember about my escapades as a child was, “don’t do that because ________.” With every caution, came a consequence. Time after time, year after year, I have become conditioned to address what consequences derive from my actions. I am not a psychologist, and I do not demonize my parents for raising me this way. I am who I am. But one thing I cannot get my head across is what life would be like if I never stressed about that next moment. What if, instead of constantly analyzing the future, I simply adapted and responded to events that occur in the present? What kind of psychological changes occur in a child who is raised with an approach of, “Try it. Explore! See what happens for yourself.”
Humans are wonderful creatures and we most certainly have advanced brains that allow us to do some very amazing things. However, to my knowledge, humans still do not possess the capability to peer into the future and know what outcomes will arise. The illusion is definitely there. I can take in all the senses around me and say with a feeling of certainty that in an hour I will no longer be in this coffee shop, because I have another appointment. But just because this is the most probable solution, does not discount other probable outcomes. What if my client cancels? What if the person next to me drops dead?
Throughout all my childhood, whenever a potentially physically threatening situation presented itself, I was told by an authority NOT to do something because this specific thing will happen to me. But who is to judge what will happen in the future? “Don’t touch that hot stove! It will burn your hand!” Anyone can agree with this statement. The stove is obviously hot and touching it will obviously burn the child’s hand. What I want to ask is: what happens if you instead say, “Try it. See what happens.” You’ve done something very remarkable there. You’ve changed that child’s pattern of thinking and exploring. They will surely burn their hand, but in the grand scheme of things, a burn is a burn. There is no authority dictating probable outcomes to that child, rather, they learn for themselves the power of certain physical and natural laws; the only true authority.
It is necessary to prove to a child that they are the masters of their own decisions for them to act that way later in life. Heinlein once wrote (through the words of Lazarus Long), “I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.” Morally and physically, I am responsible for my own actions. But with my background and the mental conditioning I have, how can I possibly be expected to attack the future with a free mind? Am I truly a free thinker/mover? Or am I only as free as my calculations allow me to be?
If my shoes have a high coefficient of friction with the rail, the distance is within my abilities, and the rail is sturdy and strong, I can safely assume that I will make the precision successfully. But what is the difference between an assumption and a prediction? In my opinion, too many people believe that the world is predictable until it proves unpredictable. But after the world proves itself unpredictable, no one comes to the conclusion that perhaps, maybe, the world is simply inherently unpredictable. Everyone continues to believe that they can predict outcomes based on limited data.
I have come to the realization that I have spent way too much of my life worrying about situations and outcomes that I can’t possibly know the answers to, especially when it comes to parkour. My past mentality has surely helped me progress as effectively and safely as possible. It has also helped me take on and accomplish new tasks slowly, something I strive to promote in all beginners. But the time needs to come where I mature and finally accept that I have certain abilities, gifts, talents, and limitations and that these do not mean I need to worry constantly about what will happen in the future. I have all the tools I need to properly adapt to whatever physical situation presents itself, whether predicted or not. That is true self-confidence. The ability to say nothing is set in stone and I know that I cannot predict what is going to happen next, but instead of waiting, pondering, and worrying about how I will respond to a potentially bad situation, I will simply continue doing what I do best: adapt.
I want to end by saying that recently I’ve become extremely intrigued in watching experienced practitioners bail. I feel that in these few precious moments, true pakour is demonstrated. There is no time for calculation. No time for worry or anxiety. There is simply reaction in its pure form. Imagine what it would feel like to be in that state of mind every minute; to have complete acceptance of the natural/physical laws that guide us, and although we don’t know what’s going to happen next, confide in our training and our personal abilities to guide us and keep us safe.
This past gymnastics session, I decided to meditate on all the worries, fears, and anxieties I have with tumbling, manipulate them into a ball, and cast them away. I am aware of my limitations, my strengths and weaknesses, and through this knowledge I can act accordingly. Last Sunday I did my first roundoff backhandspring, roundoff back tuck, four backhandsprings in a row, and a side sumi. I had never attempted any of them before simply because I was always afraid of what might happen.
I’m not calculating anymore. I’m done being a slave to my own imagination.
